CANDACE STEVENS's (numbercruncherllc) Blog

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot.The genius says: “Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don’t know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can’t answer yours I will give you $5,000.”The idiot says: “Okay!”The genius then asks: “How many...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interview...

Wrong email address:A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his...

"Will I Live To 80?" - I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him," Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco o...

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginni...

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight...

Will’s experience at the airport:After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained profess...

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only gr...

I gave my patient the results of her sleep study: “It looks like you stopped breathing in your sleep over 65 times per hour.”Her response: “Did I start back?” —Michael Breus, PhD, Scottsdale, Arizona

Why is everyone so excited about the passing of the American Rescue Plan Act?  Let's take a look at some of the highlights of the provisions of this bill to see what all the hype is about.  ✴️ The act creates a new Sec. 6428B provides individuals with a $1,400 recovery rebate credit ($2,800 for m...