Steve Merson's Blog

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party.  He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.  A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:  Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate'...

A senior center decided to hire a hypnotist for their evening's entertainment. Claude, the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you all into a trance- I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautifulantique pocket watc...

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We  turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our  pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.  We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived  and we opened the front door to leave ...

A  drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.  The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a  half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.  He opened his newspaper and  began reading. After a few minutes the man turned...

There are five rules men should follow to ensure a happy life!   1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who  cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who  doe...

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman.. ...

Well, could this really be the best tattoo in the world ever?? This guy certainly believed it was and he was certainly very proud to show it off.  However, he may have has second thoughts about the wisdom of decorating his body in this fashion after he was............ SENT TO PRISON!!!!!!   

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terroristthreats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" oreven "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since theblitz in 1940 when te...

To all my friends and colleagues here on ActiveRain, if you have received an e-mail from me with a link, please DO NOT OPEN!!! This does not come from me and I am very concerned my account has been hacked. Please let me know if you receive anything and I say again  DO NOT OPEN!! SO sorry!

Well, as a friend of mine pointed out, as of today, there are only 336 days to go until Christmas. Ma I be the first to wish you all a very merry Christmas and as usual, let me share a seasonal joke. Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.'In honour of thi...