Steve Merson's Blog

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her shopping trips.  Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.  Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.  Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter ...

DEA officer stops at a ranch in  Texas , and talks with an old rancher.   He  tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally  grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that  field over there," as he points out the location.  The DEA officer verbally explodes  saying,...

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and  told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the  night." She  said, "Aye, did ye ...

1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. -Grantland Rice 2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. --John Updike 3. I...

Believe it or not, this a real ad in Craigslist!!!  Enjoy!                        To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown  Savannah  night before last. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend...

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. "Normally, we'd...

There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 mi...

Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest Nevada - Prostitutes and Poker! New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here! New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The ...

Alabama - Heck Yes, We Have Electricity. Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona - But It's A Dry Heat. Arkansas - Literacy Ain't Everything. California - By 30, Our women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda. Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother. Connecticut - Like Massachusetts, Only ...

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Outer space exists because ...