Gorgeous TLC, spectacular view of water sprout from toilet back flow, adorable racoons in the crawl space, awlsome view of an arbor in the basement, playful mice keep your cat fit physically... Rainbow of Yosemite like water fall from vintage iron pipe at sunset.... aeration lawn with help from neighbors below....  

Yes, there is a guy out of Atlanta that advertises Garages with an attached 3 bedroom home.  He is into cars.

cozy always means you can't change your mind in any room...

I like the term, step saver kitchen meaning the kitchen is ultra tiny. I use it and it makes me smile. 

Love it, very cleaver.  Looking forward to seeing what others write.

There are some creative folks.

All too often...

I copied and pasted from Realtor.com Good question as we all use different words to describe our listings.

If you’re ready to buy, here’s a vocabulary primer:

Common Phrases

Original condition: The previous owner did not maintain the property and it will need updating and a lot of renovation, since it will be in a rundown condition.

Needs TLC: A homebuyer should interpret this to mean that the property needs a great deal of work.

Handyman special, Lots of potential: The buyer had better be good with tools if he or she wants the house to be livable.

Cozy: The house or apartment is very small.

Charming, Vintage charm: The house is old and in need of repair or modernizing.

Low-maintenance yard: The backyard has been paved over or the soil is so rocky that nothing will grow there. If you are expecting to make a garden or have a lawn, the cement will have to be removed, soil and a sprinkler system put in, and grass planted—all of which is a costly and time-consuming undertaking.

Flexible floor plan: The house doesn’t match the rest of the neighborhood, or so many additions have been tacked on that the finished house does not match its original floor plan. This condition might make the house harder to re-sell. For urban apartments, this could mean that the layout isn’t ideal, and the new owner might want to move walls to bring the space up to modern expectations.

Model home condition: The original owner paid the builder for cosmetic frills that may not be worth the price the seller is asking, as these decorating touches do not increase the value of the property.

Location Buzzwords

Convenient location: This could mean that the house is located in a busy area, near a major intersection or thoroughfare, or close to bars and nightclubs. All of those mean noise.

Waterfront property: A leaky and water-damaged old house that needs extensive renovation. The fact that it is located on a waterfront may or may not be an advantage.

House with a view: The house might have a particularly desirable view only when seen from a limited angle or vantage point.

Honestdescriptions will not try to oversell the property by creating false expectations or leaving too much up to the imagination of the homebuyer. Good real estate descriptions will represent a property’s real appeal, and will help meet the true needs of the buyer.

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Updated from an earlier version by Wendy Dickstein.

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I like Dilbert's answers. Be creative!