One of my favorites is the comment: "This won't last long" on a listing entered months and months ago.

I'm also not a fan of "Mr. and Mrs. Clean live here".  

I do like honest assessments of condition that some will put into the MLS such as:  "Home needs considerable updating as the last touches were made in the 50's.  But the price reflects these needed updates."

I hate "hurry, won't last!" And it's still sitting there 400 days later!

Hurry, or you will miss this listing --- and it has been on the market for a couple of months!   It is sad when agents put --- move in ready, and the carpet needs replacing and drastically needs paint.

Great answers, many of which are on my pet peeve list too. I find sign riders with, "honey, stop the car!" to be especially offensive.

Needs TLC = Tons of liquid cash.

This one kills me...Shown only after accepted offer.

"an unspoiled basement"  Just say it is still cinder blocks and you'll need to invest a fortune to make it livable!

24 hour notice, appt only, lister must accompany. " Won't last" usually means 170+ day on market.

I agree with Michael Setunsky with th TLC condition generally means the place is a disaster at best. I was in a home yesterday with a TLC and I needed a hazmat suit and a respirator as the mold was growing everywhere. 

Just paint and carpet will make it new again...and then it looks like a strong wind could send it back to OZ. 

I know an agent who used to use " One of a Kind" when all you saw in the area were the same style house. I used to tease him about it and he just laughed because his listings sold.

(1) "Bring all offers" and (2) "Seller motivated". Tells you it's overpriced and the listing agent is getting anxious.  Answer to (1): Seems to me that this is not consistent with the listing agent's fiduciary responsibility since it implies that there are some offers that shouldn't be presented. Answer to (2): again, it gives away the state of mind of the seller and that he will take a low offer.

"Will sell quickly" dies on the vine for me.  If you have to say it, it probably won't.

Won't last long- Gabe Sanders got that one right! Seller motivated is another one - waste of ink! 

the letters TLC are sooo overused now, they usually mean a job that needs to be gutted.... cosmetics is another word that's overused....well beyond paint....

Jeff Dowler CRS Needs some TLC usually means a disaster.

I hate "this house will sale soon".  Really.  Were you absent that day in English class?

Ok,, I hate this one..."poke your eye out cute."  REALLY????

This was a fun read! There are clues in every description for those of us who read through them everyday.  I think a lot of times the word choice is intended to let agents know the condition so we can position it to (more naive) clients. For example, 'Cozy home on convenient street,' can mean a very small home on a very busy street.

Some agents are addicted to certain words.  If the description has the word "creampuff", or "sun drenched" I know who the listing agent is.  Not really responsive to your question however...

We all know that non-specific comment like "really special" and "great potential" usually alerts us to the likelihood that the property has nothing great going for it.

"Listing agent must be present". That;s a fast way to NOT be on my "showing list".

Oh, yes. Gabe Sanders nailed it. I'm also not keen on "don't windshield."

Handy man special

Jeff - I really enjoyed reading the answers to your question. I would have to agree that 'hurry, won't last', and 'priced to sell' are some real turn-offs.

Favorites are descriptions that I have to look up what they are. Such as Porte Cochere. 

Good question, I am enjoying reading the answers, generally the only one that bothers me is when they announce that the price is firm.

Great question, Jeff. The won't last long phrase really gets me. 

Needs TLC means to me it is a rundown dump. I like to use closets as big as bedrooms. This gets attention. 

typos (when this is really no excuse today with spell check) my favorite typo of all time is  "new lusting"  and certainly not recommended!

Tenant will not allow showings.  Walk around the property and call me. If its' listing agent accompany I move on.

"Priced to sell!" & "Bring all offers!" - are these really necessary?

buyer is more interested in your commission rate than the home.

I get a laugh out of the ones Gabe mentioned

I was just writing a post on my outside blog about flowery words and stumbled across this  Q&A.  Found a few words to use hear as well!

I will address your second question.  The word that irks me the most is 'spacious'.  I hate reading about a home that is spacious - large enough for a family of four.  Sure, four people CAN live in only 800 square feet of living area, but it has to be laid out properly.  Fifteen walls in 800 sqft is NOT spacious.  So Spacious bothers me when there is not enough room for breathing.

"This one won't last!" - kiss of death.  60 days later, still saying "This one won't last!". Well, maybe not as long as a fruitcake, but still. 

I think CUTE! is the worst one.

There are many words...but what I hate the most is when the photos show snow ... and it is July... or the photos show the wrong paint colors because they painted. I am a visual person...green trees and grass do not exist in Nebraska in January...unless they are evergreens...

"Needs a Little Work"  has a very wide range

Can you believe retirement was rejected by my MLS. I was told this was not acceptable and I wasn't given clarification Jeff Dowler CRS!

I agree with Gabe, "this won't last long". Definitely the kiss of death. "Needs TLC" is one that could mean almost anything depending on your own definition of TLC.

I think it definitely depends on the buyer that you are working with, but one that I hate seeing is: "Great investment! Write offer contingent to interior inspection"

Really? 

Great question.  The first thought that came to my mind was already mentioned by a few.  "hurry this one won't last" and the listing has been active for months.  Also, "Bring Your Toothbrush" has always just irritated me a bit. LOL

When the MLS description accurately describes a property that is the best.

TLC turns off most buyers.

Some of the calls for action are presumptive, especially those that are clearly overpriced. Saw one recently that said "Act now before it's gone." At that price, don't think so.

It bothers me when an agent misrepresents the style of a home in a listing or ad, Cape Cod or Victorian for example, and it is obviously not that style. It doesn't reflect well on the agent's knowledge of architecture at the very least, and is misleading to the public.

My personal favorite is "Owner says SELL!"  Does that mean all of the other listings don't really want to sell?

The recent one was....basically "You are stupid and if no one buys in the next 2 weeks I'll remodel it myself...oh yea, now 4 months later and no sale...lol

Honey, stop the car!

This won't last.

The word "boasts"

Bothers me ...not a expression but when the listing agent add his/her email/phone on remarks... What is that for?? Should I contact you right ?not my customers...... uncheck to send....

OMG. I hate "hurry, won't last". I think that's my favorite. And, apparently a kiss of death, almost guaranteeing that it will languish for 400 days.

Home "boasts" hardwood flooring or some other feature.   What?  The house talks too?

Ones I like: luxury, peaceful, serene, designer, immaculate, happy

One's I am tired of: drop dead anything... Must see, to die for

but my backyard is Laguna Beach and Newport Beach - enough said

Unless it's a 2% mortgage rate I'm seeing the two words I hate to read are "BUYER ASSUMES". Odds are this won't be good for my customers! On the giving side I might say something like "SUBJECT TO" instead, which eases the pain a little.