Having been a widow at 30 years of age, I found the immediate busyness helps you through the early days.  I discovered at about 3 months after, most people have moved on and have not really forgotten, but assume you're getting on with life.  Most people will be wrong!  You discover who your true friends are and become more thankful than ever before

We try to have the same level of contact that existed before the death.

never cast them aside...never...

After a short time, most do forget, and that person is grieving the most.  I like to stay in touch for a good year.

William

We don't cast anyone aside.  We do stay in touch.  It is what a friend is about. A

How cruel is it to "cast" anyone in this position aside? After all the "hoopla" of a funeral when it gets quiet is when they need you most.

My response to this question is of course you still contact them to see how they are doing, and if they need help. Loss of any sort can impact lives, and change the very well being of what we thought would or could be. Over the past several years, I have personally experienced loss, that has been ground shattering, but with the help of friends, family, and even strangers, it helped to soothe some of the pain. It doesnt mean you keep bringing up the "loss", it just means you be there for that person, a simple thought or act of kindness goes along way! To cast one aside, is that truly a concerned friend/family! There is a light outside of the darkness, but sometimes it needs to be re-lit by a call, letter, supporter! 

 People move on with their lives...not sure they are casting us aside or not. I found, like Susan Emo that at about 3-4 months, noone ever mentioned David's name when I was around. Odd. 

As a widow of 4 1/2 years, what Susan Emo said rings true for the most part. But, unlike her, I was unable to use business as a distraction.  I couldn't function.

I am perceived as a strong, independent, woman and they figured I'll be fine.  You do find out who your real friends are, make new friends and have to move on accordingly.  

My advice:  Keep in touch until they seem to have made a real transition and no longer need YOUR support.    Don't assume they are fine and moving on... unless you really don't care for them.  There isn't any reason to pretend if you don't.  

We stay in contact about once a month as some are older they tend to need more.

I stay in touch . I agree with Susan . We discover who our true friends are at such times.

I must give credit where it's due.  Debbie is awesome in staying in touch with those in need during, after and long after.  Neither of us cast anyone aside.

Yes I follow up periodically.  Generally I keep the same level of friendship as before.  Sometimes after a loss though people move on in life and leave you behind.  And sometime after a loss you grow closer to them as you can now meet a need.  

Good morning William. We never cast family or a friend aside after a loss, actually stay more connected.

William Feela it depends how close we are!

Lost someone very close one - and we are always in touch with the survivor.

I know many people tend to forget about them, but now is the time to keep in touch with them.

William, I stay in touch with them.

I check on them to see if I can help do anything or invite them to lunch or just to talk.

Of course I don't cast them aside. I stay with them. If it's someone I care about I'm there for them. 

Definitely keep in touch and not with the hope of future business. I hold my friends very dear to me.

I always try to stay in touch and try to see where I can help.

I've heard grieving people say that the hardest time comes after the cards stop arriving and the phone stops ringing. It's good to check in.

I wouldn't cast my relative or friend aside.  Often times your time and sympathy is needed days, weeks, months and sometimes even  years after the death of a loved one.

I try to be there to help them.  I did that with my sister-in-law who is a great friend after my brother passed in April 2014.

Contact them, of course.  I've had a few friends lately who've lost loved ones.  Sad, but you need to be there for them.  Wouldn't be a good friend/loved one if you kicked them to the curb for it.

It is aways an uncertain time, not knowing what to say, how much to say, should you say things that remind them of their loved one or not...

Nothing changes in the relationship. I may pay more attention to them for a year or so.

The bereaved will soon experience a loss of society driven by the inadequacies of their current friends (and our socieity as a whole) abilities to recognize and facilitate grief.

There is that first season of tears of love lost that leaves the bereaved exhausted.... but warm.

Some time later the season of tears is driven by the long walk with sorrow. These tears leaves one helpless, bewildered, confused, lonely, frightened...cold.

At this time a hand to hold in silence is crucial. To choose to sojourn the long lonely with one you care about is the action of a heart that understands the dimensions of real love.

Contact them

Never just cast them aside...if they live close by I am there occasionaly

 Good Monday morning William. I typically send a card or flowers.

I am sensitve not to intrude but remain all ears