Annette  Lawrence , Palm Harbor, FL 727-420-4041, Making FLORIDA Real Estate EZ  (ReMax Realtec Group)

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Rainmaker
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Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

Oh man. I'm Italian. We don't really forgive - we just wait for the karma train to run the a-hole over. Then we drink!

Nov 03, 2017 10:49 AM
Rainmaker
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Peter Testa
Nationwide Homes - Danbury, CT
PETER TESTA

Nov 03, 2017 11:55 AM
Rainer
187,002
Raj Taj
RE/MAX - Lake Bluff, IL
Drive By Blessings!

A strong person forgives and is a winner, let the other side be the loser, it's their God given choice to be the loser, unless they choose otherwise.

I'm guessing that many don't understand forgiveness, it will be to their detriment.

Nov 03, 2017 11:42 AM
Rainmaker
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I harbored negative feelings for a very long time about someone who did all those things to me, or at least that's how I viewed it. We had already apologized to each other years before, but everytime I thought of this person, my stomach tied up in knots and I was resentful. I remember one day reading something about how resentment only hurts the one who is resentful. And the next time I thought of this person, I made some sort of gesture with my hands of kneading all that negativity into a ball and throwing it into the universe. And you know what? I haven't been mad at that person since. The only one I was hurting was myself. And it was negative and stupid and a total waste of my energy. 

 

Nov 03, 2017 09:57 AM
Rainmaker
5,570,688
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

I think I'm safe in saying most active real estate agents have experienced some or all of what you described.  I distance myself.... if I didn't, I would be stooping to the ugly person's level.... I'd have to drag the SOB out back and shoot her/ him.... 

Nov 03, 2017 10:32 AM
Rainmaker
605,075
Eve Alexander
Buyers Broker of Florida - Orlando, FL
Exclusively Representing ONLY Orlando Home Buyers

I don't...

Why do I need to "forgive" a lying, deceitful, greedy, broker who worked extra hard to try to cheat me out of a $20K referral fee?

I see absolutely no reason to "forgive" her...or even try to.

Eve

Nov 03, 2017 09:52 AM
Rainmaker
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Anthony Acosta - ALLATLANTACONDOS.COM
Harry Norman, REALTORS® - Atlanta, GA
Associate Broker

Very simple, just forgive and keep going.

Nov 03, 2017 01:18 PM
Rainmaker
826,922
Pete Xavier
Investments to Luxury - Pacific Palisades, CA
Outstanding Agent Referrals-Nationwide

Forgive, but don't forget. After judging one by their actions, one can decide to totally disengage or whatever, but forgiveness is a must for your own heart...more importantly your soul.

Nov 03, 2017 10:37 AM
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Living by The Golden Rule has kept me from experiencing much unfair treatment in my life. If something happens and they apologize, I very quickly forgive. If they don't apologize, I still forgive - it just may be something that I'll then never forget though!

For the most part, harboring ill will is not worth the energy you expend, Annette. In my opinion, that's winning in the cheater's mind so, let go and let God!

Nov 03, 2017 07:11 PM
Rainmaker
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Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

Yes & I have not found a way to do it successfully. There are many quotes as to why you should but it's easier said than done. There are plenty of reasons not to forgive someone ....

Nov 03, 2017 11:06 AM
Rainmaker
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Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Annette,

We both have a highly developed sense when it comes to not engaging with this type of person.  Fortunately we have heeded our gut 100% !  We are also fortunate in the ability of letting things go, and are constantlly getting better at mindfulness.  A

Nov 03, 2017 10:04 AM
Rainmaker
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Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

To be honest I really can't remember when I was egregiously treated unjustly, unfairly, invalidated, accused or cheated. Maybe they are all too afraid of me? Then again, I treat people the way I want to be treated and somehow that works. I also have a pretty good sixth sense about people to stay away from.

Nov 03, 2017 10:02 AM
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Fred Griffin Tallahassee Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

    Christ told me to forgive.  So I do it.

Nov 03, 2017 06:41 PM
Ambassador
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Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

I forgive myself.  It does not always happen quickly. There is a process of looking at my role in the situation.  What could I have done differently? Knowing what I could have done differently, would I gave done things differently knowing what I knew at the time.  There are real life lessons in trusting the wrong people.  

Nov 03, 2017 03:23 PM
Rainmaker
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Joseph Domino 480-390-6011
HomeSmart - Scottsdale, AZ
Real Estate Made Easy

One problem with harboring resentment is the idea that we had control over the situation or decision. Even when you believe it to be wrong there may not be much you can do about. When it is the other person's decision it is out of our control.

Nov 03, 2017 01:35 PM
Rainmaker
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Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

I sit back and let karma take over

Nov 03, 2017 04:19 PM
Rainmaker
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Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Time helps this process as does stopping the intrusion. Self-examination, taking responsibility, mourning for the injustice help one to reach the surface & then to rise above it all. Staying objective helps. Centering aides as well. In the end, "they know not what they do" applies to all and everything

Nov 03, 2017 12:53 PM
Rainmaker
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Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Always demonstrate kindness.

Nov 03, 2017 12:45 PM
Rainmaker
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Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Always remember, you can't fix stupid!

Nov 03, 2017 12:06 PM
Rainmaker
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Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

I have the same answer Nina Hollander ... Except for the occasional driver zipping in front of me to take a parking space I was waiting for, I just cannot even remember a time when this happened.  Now, maybe I HAVE been cheated at some point of something, but if so, I am blissfully unaware. 

Nov 03, 2017 11:53 AM
Rainmaker
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Joe Pryor
The Virtual Real Estate Team - Oklahoma City, OK
REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties

Often I forgive and not forget.

Nov 03, 2017 10:46 AM
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Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, EXP - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Sometimes it takes a lifetime, much harder to do than logic would dictate.

Nov 03, 2017 10:04 PM
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Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

My Bible says Forgive 7 times 70 ... so that's what I do.  Forgive and Move on!  Life is too short to hold grudges!  I want to have a clear conscious ... and holding onto resentment is like a cancer that grows and grows and kills everything around me. 

 

Nov 03, 2017 08:11 PM
Rainmaker
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Thomas J. Nelson, REALTOR ® e-Pro CRS RCS-D Vets
Big Block Realty 858.232.8722 - La Jolla, CA
& Host of Postcards From Success Podcast

As an Irish/Italian aka Nitro & Glycerin, I have to agree with Candice A. Donofrio . We let Sonny drive to the toll booth and instant karma takes over.

 

Nov 03, 2017 07:21 PM
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Dave Halpern
Keller Williams Realty Louisville East (502) 664-7827 - Louisville, KY
Louisville Short Sale Expert

Compartmentalize.

Nov 03, 2017 04:16 PM
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Byron K . Jones
Coatesville, PA
List Today - Sold Tomorrow!

I Normally Forget, Never Forgive....I have always worked by "treat others as you want to be Treated"...only failed me Once on a 700k commercial transaction..that is the only one that still nags at me..everytime i drive past the building

Nov 03, 2017 11:06 AM
Rainmaker
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Allie Angeloni
Long Realty - Oro Valley, AZ

After trying to have a rational discussion/dialogue, I personally 'moved on' Annette Lawrence , Palm Harbor, FL 727-420-4041.  I could no longer continue to validate this person, and realized that I could not judge them, even if they could judge others.  This was on-going for a few years, though I'm 'slow to learn' and 'overlooked' certain behaviors, though it became harder to 'overlook' words.  Fortunately, this was not a business relationship, because I could not see a way to 'try harder or try differently' on my part.  I was happy to move on, and realized that if someone is toxic to me, then that is not a long-term true friendship.  When you see someone being mean, to others, and to have it turned on you, it's truly not a 'live and let live' relationship.  I have not regretted my decision to 'move forward and not look back'.  I saw no reason to forgive someone else for their thoughts, because it was their thoughts and words.  

Nov 04, 2017 08:51 AM
Rainmaker
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Ryan Huggins - Thousand Oaks, CA
https://HugginsHomes.com - Thousand Oaks, CA
Residential Real Estate and Investment Properties

I don't forgive.

Nov 04, 2017 08:41 AM
Rainmaker
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Sandy Padula and Norm Padula, JD, GRI
HomeSmart Realty West & Lend Smart Mortgage, Llc. - Carlsbad, CA
Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

I usually send them 1-2 ounces of lead

Nov 04, 2017 07:15 AM
Rainmaker
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Kathleen Luiten
Resort and Second-Home Specialist - Princeville, HI
Kauai Luxury Ocean Home Sales

Annette Lawrence , Palm Harbor, FL 727-420-4041 you gift us with some of the most inspirational and thought provoking questions I have seen lately here in the Rain. Just wanted to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to you. You have added to my life by inspiring some deeper thought and learning. THANK YOU.

Oh, my answer to your question... I've taught meditation for decades and have several wonderful pratices for forgiveness. I forgave a relative for absconding with over a half million in funds that should have gone to our children. Right can still be right, no need to constrict our heart and limit our love or forgiveness.

Nov 04, 2017 01:24 AM
Rainer
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Sharon Altier, SFR
Lawton Realty Group, Inc. - Elmhurst, IL
Your Real Estate Partner

I surrender to knowing it is not my place to judge someone.  We can never know what the other person is dealing with and negative or aggressive actions seem to come from a source of pain.  I let it go quite easily. 

 "driftwood always come to shore"....

 

Nov 03, 2017 10:03 PM
Rainmaker
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Maria Sapio
Keller Williams of Central PA - Carlisle, PA
Real Estate Agent- Carlisle, PA. Mariasapio.com

I try not to be bogged down by carrying excess baggage...  I like to have fun and enjoy life - so I find it's best to pack lightly :)

Nov 03, 2017 12:29 PM
Rainmaker
598,034
Nathan Gesner
American West Realty and Management - Cody, WY
Broker / Property Manager

There's no magic formula; you just have to do it and then move on.

Nov 04, 2017 08:05 AM
Rainmaker
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Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

I try to just move on.

Nov 04, 2017 05:27 AM
Rainmaker
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Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
Serving the Greater Phoenix and Scottsdale Metropolitan Area - Scottsdale, AZ
Haven Express @ Keller Williams Arizona Realty

Anthony Acosta - ALLATLANTACONDOS.COM nailed this one!

Nov 04, 2017 05:11 AM
Rainmaker
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Steven Nickens
Wailea Realty - Wailea, HI
R(S)GRI ABR, Maui Real Estate Hawaii

After I get over the shock, I move on. Can't change the past, but you can change the future.

Nov 04, 2017 03:33 AM
Ambassador
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Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

Of course, since that is part of life. The best way to overcome is to look forward, not backward.

Nov 03, 2017 10:35 PM
Rainmaker
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William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

i very seldom hold a grudge, but I may not trust so quickly again

Nov 03, 2017 06:10 PM
Rainmaker
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Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

Move on not to reengage in conflict......

If I catch that person who is a realtor ...

Nov 03, 2017 10:42 AM
Ambassador
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Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Just forget about it!

Aug 19, 2018 11:32 PM
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Dave Martin (703) 585-4687
Fairfax Realty - Fairfax, VA
Making Realty Dreams a Reality #WeWillGetYouHome

Lots and lots of wasted or pointless negative emotions... sometimes it just takes time to forgive or at least to forget

Jan 11, 2018 04:21 PM
Rainmaker
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Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Time heals everything, well maybe.

 

Nov 09, 2017 04:44 PM
Rainmaker
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Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

It is a very deep question for me personally, since I went through years of spiritual journey to learn to forgive myself and others, and still do. I just talked with my friend about surrendering and letting go. Read Tao, make time just for yourself daily, meditate, allow negative thoughts flow through your mind easily, count your blessings, be kind. 

Nov 04, 2017 10:47 PM
Rainmaker
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Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

No.

Nov 04, 2017 05:43 PM
Rainmaker
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Lynnea Miller
Bend Premier Real Estate - Bend, OR
Premier Real Estate Service in Central Oregon

It is not worth my time, health or energy to let someone else's poor attitude, poor treatment or poor action impact me. As I have gotten older, it is easier for me to distance myself from such people.  Fill your life with those who see the glass half full rather than those who are bitter and depressing.

Nov 04, 2017 11:34 AM